Greetings And Good-Byes

You are walking down a hall when you see someone you know walking toward you. Do you:

1. Walk past without a words or acknowledgment
2. Nod and continue walking
3. Say hello

You would think that to most people, this question would be a no-brainer. Unfortunately, in this day and age, it has become common to ignore people instead of taking a few moments of precious time to give a proper greeting. I remember when I was younger, one day I was not happy with my dad so when he said good morning to me I pretended like I didn’t hear him. Boy, did I get an earful about returning a greeting if given one. The younger generations, however, seem to either not have been taught this lesson or choose to forget about the common courtesy of greeting someone. As the kid president said so eloquently “Be cool to people even when they’re not cool to you. Then we’ll all be cool.” Even if it’s someone you don’t know, would it really take so much time out of your day to give a nod or smile to someone you pass? It may just make their day.

On the other hand of things, you have goodbyes. Lately, I’ve noticed a trend of people I’m on the phone with at the end of a conversion just hang up without saying goodbye. Call me old fashioned, but I feel this is rude. Saying some form of goodbye brings a clear end to a conversion. This is true for face to face conversions and a sign of respect toward the other person. It is also respectful to say goodbye when you leave a place and there are people are around. You never know if someone will be looking around for you later and not know that you left. Whenever possible, I tell my boss that I’m leaving work at the end of my shift and I ask if there is anything else they need me to do before I leave. That way, if there was something they forgot to tell me they can, and my boss isn’t wondering where I went all of a sudden.

Please and thank you. Three syllables that make things go just a little easier. I was taught from an early age to use these words, and I’m sure some of you reading this post were taught as well. Now that I’m grown and working with children, part of me is shocked how often their parents don’t reinforce the use of these words. Parents my age are too busy with their cell phones to help teach these simple way to be polite. In fact, sometimes I wonder if being polite is going the way of the dodo, but that’s a topic for another time.

So why is please and thank you so important? Part of it is because it helps the people around you know that you care for more than just yourself. Please comes from plesen or plaisen in middle english, plaisir in middle french, and placere in latin. The meaning is to please, as in “may it please you.” The origin of the word please is based on others needs or wants. You are not demanding that someone do something for you, but instead asking if they would be willing to do something for you.

When others do something for you, it makes sense to thank them for taking time out of their lives to help you in some way.  Thank you or thanks comes from thanken in middle english and danken in german and dutch. It’s an acknowledgment that you now think favorably of them and are grateful for what they did.

When we acknowledge other people’s efforts, they will be more likely to offer their help in the future. That, in turn, helps you build a support system that you can depend on. In this day and age that is something that would benefit anybody, regardless of social status or income. All because of three little syllables.

A monumental task

The term ladies and gentlemen conjure thoughts of the British aristocracy in bulky gowns and starched collars. However, the dictionary defines it a little differently. It paints a picture of people who are polite, well-mannered, and sensitive. So why am I being up definitions of these two particular words? It’s because in our society today, these words are fast disappearing from daily interactions with one another.

So why am I bring this up instead of ignoring the problem and going along with the status quo? Because I feel it’s important that we bring back ladies and gentlemen. Today you can’t go five minutes without hearing some form of bashing of the sexes for one reason or another. Men are stupid. Women are vain. Children are annoying. These stereotypes, when heard over and over, become a self-fulfilling prophecy. An intelligent man will “dumb it down” to fit in with the guys because a man is supposed to be stupid. A woman who doesn't care about such things will spend more time that she normally would on how she looks to everyone else because a woman is expected to be vain. Children will act out when their worth is not recognized.

The sad thing is the younger generations believe that it's acceptable act like this, disrespecting others and only caring about themselves. I worry where this trend of indifference will lead us. Are we to become a society that feels it’s okay to not give up our seat on the bus to an elderly person, shove our way to the front of the line because we’re in a hurry, or ignore people because it suits our needs? I, for one, hope that this trend does not become another one of those pesky self-fulfilling prophecies.

How can we avoid this fate? By caring about more others than ourselves, being polite in our interactions with each other, and making use of the etiquette that previous generations were taught from birth. I think Goethe had it right when he said: “Respect for self governs our morality - respect for others our behavior.” So let work on getting rid of the “bros and hoes” mentality and bring back ladies and gentlemen.

#bringbackladiesandgenetlemen #bblag #respect #letschange